TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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