Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
