maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
