I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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