Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
