Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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