There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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