she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
