As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize