I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
