i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
