ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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