This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
