Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
