he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
