haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Randomize
