he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
