She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
