Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
