FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my being single is dangerous.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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