we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
false alarm, still single
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