Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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