he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
