I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
