I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
