would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
