What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
