I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
