no, he came in my armpit
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You pole danced in your parka.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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