Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
