dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
