I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
