I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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