I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize