i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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