The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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