I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
