need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she smelled like a LAN party
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
