Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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