So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My dick has a subreddit
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize