why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
