I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
