I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
