Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
