I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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