haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Panties = found
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
