At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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