thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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