Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
