I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
