I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize