So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
