then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
