The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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