i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
