I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
