Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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