just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
