check it out our google latitudes are spooning
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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