"it" just moved
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
