Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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